I am not a quitter. In fact, I think that to an extent it has been my greatest downfall in certain areas of my life. I like to be right. Sometimes, I really hope that I am wrong, and it frustrates me to no possible end to not feel comfortable or certain about an outcome.
Welcome to the life of a 25 year old in the blue collar city of Philadelphia.
It's difficult to say it like that without implying that there is some external excuse for my inability to find a job in a matter of two weeks, as one would if they were in Washington, D.C. This campaign was really helpful, because it put me in touch with some very knowledgeable people, and my ability to focus helped me to capitalize on the opportunity to learn from them. But, now that the election is over, I need a job, Philadelphia. What I would really like is a job that allows me to help people. Some sort of community outreach job has my name written all over it. I love to work with people and for people. It makes me feel purposeful, as egotistical as that sounds. I thought about lobbying, advocacy, some sort of urban policy program, etc. But all of these sorts of jobs require that I am qualified (but not over-qualified) to implement these initiatives. They also require that I have some sort of master's degree or law degree.
I understand it, I respect it, however, it clearly is to my detriment and for many people like me, people who need jobs to go back to school, this continues to be a losing battle. We find ourselves being patronized by working at wages that don't allow us to be self sufficient, living with each other or our parents, five years away from thirty. It's depressing as hell. I don't even understand how people are getting married. It costs too much to live. Can I live?!
I want to help others, but it's occurred to me that I am the one who needs help. I can't afford to go back to school. I can't afford to miss any bills, but I can't afford to pay them either. Disillusionment about college is beginning to settle with a sense of permanence, but I have to try, because if I don't at least try, I will not survive. It's time that we all begin to get paid what we're worth. This recession business is a terrible shield that protects companies, a convenient excuse for everything. It makes me really angry.
It also reminds me of our civic duty. We need to vote. We need to have an opinion about every damn piece of legislature that is passed about budgets, consumer laws, credit reports, etc., jobs, economic development, transportation hikes... Raise hell if you have to. Shut down the banks and move your money if you have to. What little some of us have, that is. It's time to hold our legislators accountable, with a tremendous sense of urgency. The young professionals are being lost in the shuffle without much support and it's unfair.
Because, really, this recession business is bullsh*t. I have bills to pay and I am not protected. It's making life really hard for all of us who've worked hard. If I start a movement, I wonder who will be with me?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
May 18, 2010
May 18, 2010.
Do you see a period after the date? That is because that date stands alone. Why? Because it was the last day of my very first campaign, and we won the primary, by 522 votes.
You can imagine the kind of day I had.
We fired someone first thing in the morning, we dealt with people who wanted to get paid, we were putting out fires all day and re-applying war paint on our faces, we were fighting the good fight against cheaters and bullies. We even had some of our "allies" turn against us - and when I say they turned against us, I mean, they REALLY turned against us. By the grace of God, I was not able to vote that morning. If I had, I would've voted for the wrong people. I knew all along to go with my gut as an individual, but after conferring with some trustworthy individuals, I was willing to swing my vote to the other team only hours before the big day.
I would like to go on record and say that Sharif Street was an interesting opponent, and a worthy one, because we had to work really hard to kick his ass. In the end, our hard work got Vanessa Lowery Brown back into office, and she did it by ousting two HUGE political families in Philadelphia: The Blackwells and The Streets.
So, congratulations to the only true choice all along, State Representative Vanessa Lowery Brown. Please, take a look at what she's managed to accomplish in Harrisburg in her freshman year as a state rep: www.pahouse.net/brown.
I am being vague about this experience on purpose. If you would really like to know, please email me or let me know. Or, since I am now part of the rest of civilization, we could get together and talk about it. It was exciting, scary, stressful at points, but I will tell you, that I would do it all again. It was hard work, and probably will not be the hardest I've ever worked in my life, but that's good, because that means that at some point, I will be unstoppable.
I am grateful to the mentorship that I received throughout the process on both sides of the political spectrum. I enjoyed the friendships that I made on the legislative side, and I've met some extraordinary people on the campaign side. I loved the campaign side of things, because I am competitive, I love to win, I love being able to outsmart the bad guy. And I am eager to learn from the godfathers of the profession.
I know that this blog was a bit boring because I left out all of the juicy details, like the fake injunction, the people wearing the exact same shirts as us but were for the other team, confusing the hell out of everyone, and the politicians that turned on us and even set us up, stole our items, the fact that the opponents resorted to acting like park apes/bullies to our supporters, and the Benedict Arnolds, whose integrity could be bought.
What's the use? The people who turned on us lost, every single one. And in Philadelphia, people don't forget.
In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm still on a high, but I'm a little out of sorts without a campaign.
So, what's next?!
I'm going to get some sleep! And perhaps catch up with some of you! Thank you to all of you who were so supportive. I received so many well wishes and so many people were rooting for us to win. Thank you for the words of wisdom, the emails, the phone calls, the visits, the hugs (seriously, the hugs were great) and for teaching me. I especially thank my mother and father for encouraging me throughout this journey. This was an experience of a lifetime and I will never forget it.
Peace and Love,
A.M.W.
Do you see a period after the date? That is because that date stands alone. Why? Because it was the last day of my very first campaign, and we won the primary, by 522 votes.
You can imagine the kind of day I had.
We fired someone first thing in the morning, we dealt with people who wanted to get paid, we were putting out fires all day and re-applying war paint on our faces, we were fighting the good fight against cheaters and bullies. We even had some of our "allies" turn against us - and when I say they turned against us, I mean, they REALLY turned against us. By the grace of God, I was not able to vote that morning. If I had, I would've voted for the wrong people. I knew all along to go with my gut as an individual, but after conferring with some trustworthy individuals, I was willing to swing my vote to the other team only hours before the big day.
I would like to go on record and say that Sharif Street was an interesting opponent, and a worthy one, because we had to work really hard to kick his ass. In the end, our hard work got Vanessa Lowery Brown back into office, and she did it by ousting two HUGE political families in Philadelphia: The Blackwells and The Streets.
So, congratulations to the only true choice all along, State Representative Vanessa Lowery Brown. Please, take a look at what she's managed to accomplish in Harrisburg in her freshman year as a state rep: www.pahouse.net/brown.
I am being vague about this experience on purpose. If you would really like to know, please email me or let me know. Or, since I am now part of the rest of civilization, we could get together and talk about it. It was exciting, scary, stressful at points, but I will tell you, that I would do it all again. It was hard work, and probably will not be the hardest I've ever worked in my life, but that's good, because that means that at some point, I will be unstoppable.
I am grateful to the mentorship that I received throughout the process on both sides of the political spectrum. I enjoyed the friendships that I made on the legislative side, and I've met some extraordinary people on the campaign side. I loved the campaign side of things, because I am competitive, I love to win, I love being able to outsmart the bad guy. And I am eager to learn from the godfathers of the profession.
I know that this blog was a bit boring because I left out all of the juicy details, like the fake injunction, the people wearing the exact same shirts as us but were for the other team, confusing the hell out of everyone, and the politicians that turned on us and even set us up, stole our items, the fact that the opponents resorted to acting like park apes/bullies to our supporters, and the Benedict Arnolds, whose integrity could be bought.
What's the use? The people who turned on us lost, every single one. And in Philadelphia, people don't forget.
In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm still on a high, but I'm a little out of sorts without a campaign.
So, what's next?!
I'm going to get some sleep! And perhaps catch up with some of you! Thank you to all of you who were so supportive. I received so many well wishes and so many people were rooting for us to win. Thank you for the words of wisdom, the emails, the phone calls, the visits, the hugs (seriously, the hugs were great) and for teaching me. I especially thank my mother and father for encouraging me throughout this journey. This was an experience of a lifetime and I will never forget it.
Peace and Love,
A.M.W.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Got Love?
Friends,
It's spring time, and spring time means romance. I feel like I've been living under a rock. Oh wait, ok, time out.
This is not going to be another blog about pursuing my goals and consistent ruminations about taking over the world and filling it with hugs and ice cream.
One of my friends called me out recently, because she noticed that I've gone completely balls-to-the-walls with work. I justify my actions by saying that we're approaching a very important primary, and we seek to kick some dust under a few household names and shake things up in Harrisburg. This election is a big deal for me. It's my first campaign. All of this is very true, and I work every single day. I love what I do.
There are some things that have proved a bit challenging, though. When I think about my ex boyfriend, I work. When I think about the guy that I wish I were dating, and how he's great, but for someone else, I work. When I am approached by guys that I find repulsive, I work. When I like a guy and I think he may actually like me, I work.
I've used this whole working thing as a poor excuse for being anti-social and really dumping that whole notion of "falling in love" into the garbage disposal with the banana peels. The truth is I really don't think it's going to happen. Now, listen, this isn't a pity party by any means. MSNBC and CNN tell me at least once a month that since I am a black woman with a degree, I am less likely to find a man that will relate to me, and I will likely "date down" because the options are slim. Then there are the guys that I should like, but the spark isn't there. Like the guys that are decades older than me, people with a bigillion children, people who've never left their street corner, or cannot text a complete sentence. Ugh. I would like to know what I did in my last life to deserve this.
I think it's also the fact that this is the first time that I have been single for well over a year since I was 18 years old. I'm not lonely, but I have to say that I don't appreciate the fact that everyone's settled with their honeys, the engagements, the babies, the promise of that happily ever after thing that I wanted for so long. I believe in it - for others.
That's probably because it isn't what God placed me here to do. So I work. And I don't talk about it. And I pretend to care when there's a new flavor of the month or week or for however long that I'm interested before I am completely repulsed and disappointed. Picky? I don't know. I would say that I give people a fair shake. And then there is a part of me that now knows when my spirit simply cannot take another person. And usually, I regret that initial gut feeling when I don't listen to myself.
Anyway, there's also that danger of dating someone at work. People in politics know things even when they don't say anything, people watch, even when they pretend that they're not. Even if you're convinced that they aren't. Everyone knows everyone.
I hate dating. The concept was clearly a man's idea.
It's spring time, and spring time means romance. I feel like I've been living under a rock. Oh wait, ok, time out.
This is not going to be another blog about pursuing my goals and consistent ruminations about taking over the world and filling it with hugs and ice cream.
One of my friends called me out recently, because she noticed that I've gone completely balls-to-the-walls with work. I justify my actions by saying that we're approaching a very important primary, and we seek to kick some dust under a few household names and shake things up in Harrisburg. This election is a big deal for me. It's my first campaign. All of this is very true, and I work every single day. I love what I do.
There are some things that have proved a bit challenging, though. When I think about my ex boyfriend, I work. When I think about the guy that I wish I were dating, and how he's great, but for someone else, I work. When I am approached by guys that I find repulsive, I work. When I like a guy and I think he may actually like me, I work.
I've used this whole working thing as a poor excuse for being anti-social and really dumping that whole notion of "falling in love" into the garbage disposal with the banana peels. The truth is I really don't think it's going to happen. Now, listen, this isn't a pity party by any means. MSNBC and CNN tell me at least once a month that since I am a black woman with a degree, I am less likely to find a man that will relate to me, and I will likely "date down" because the options are slim. Then there are the guys that I should like, but the spark isn't there. Like the guys that are decades older than me, people with a bigillion children, people who've never left their street corner, or cannot text a complete sentence. Ugh. I would like to know what I did in my last life to deserve this.
I think it's also the fact that this is the first time that I have been single for well over a year since I was 18 years old. I'm not lonely, but I have to say that I don't appreciate the fact that everyone's settled with their honeys, the engagements, the babies, the promise of that happily ever after thing that I wanted for so long. I believe in it - for others.
That's probably because it isn't what God placed me here to do. So I work. And I don't talk about it. And I pretend to care when there's a new flavor of the month or week or for however long that I'm interested before I am completely repulsed and disappointed. Picky? I don't know. I would say that I give people a fair shake. And then there is a part of me that now knows when my spirit simply cannot take another person. And usually, I regret that initial gut feeling when I don't listen to myself.
Anyway, there's also that danger of dating someone at work. People in politics know things even when they don't say anything, people watch, even when they pretend that they're not. Even if you're convinced that they aren't. Everyone knows everyone.
I hate dating. The concept was clearly a man's idea.
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