When I woke up this morning, I thought about the many mundane tasks that I would need to complete before the day is over. I also thought about this transition that I am making in my life - a climb out of the abyss of the dreaded quarter-life crisis. It will eat you alive if you let it. Thankfully, I am finding my way. In coming to grips with some new realities, I thought repeatedly about a lesson that I've learned since my return to Philadelphia. The lesson is this: Before you get all disappointed about something or someone, you have to know what you're working with.
Once you begin to understand the capacity at which a person can understand you, or a situation for that matter, you can assess the kind or amount of expectations you should place on them, and with that, you should also be willing to assess how much you can understand them. The difference is that since you are well aware of your own limitations, the idea is to try to supersede those limitations as best as you can, so as to earn the benefit of the doubt from the person that you are trying to oblige or understand.
It sounds simple enough, but it is so simple, that it is perhaps forgettable. I often keep myself in check with this of late, out of fear that I am being unreasonable or self-absorbed. I also consider my sources. You should REALLY consider the source, whenever someone's talking to you.
OH and always, ALWAYS have someone put a promise in a documented form after verbalized. It's necessary for accountability. Be ready and willing to do the same for any promises that you make as well.
Perhaps I learned more than I thought.
Anyway, today I am dedicating this blog to Colin James Alexander Reid. By the grace of God, he's perfectly fine and healthy. He hasn't returned to war at all, either. With that said, this seems to be a bit random. But when I think about transitioning from one phase of my life to another, I think about friendship. There are times like these when you leave some people behind, and there are some people that will ride with you for the next journey. I am very fond of our friendship, because as we both continue to grow, we've been so supportive of each other. A lot has happened in the five years that we've known each other. We've lost loved ones, we've fallen in love several times (with each other and other people), we've become our own sort of weird family, we've disagreed over very little, but what little we have, we've overlooked to be there for each other. When I think of loyalty and friendship, I think of Colin, because even though we rarely get to see each other, we are there for each other for the monumental things in our lives. If something happens in our family, we call. When Colin went to Afghanistan, I made the time to write, and he made the time to call. When I had questions about what to do going forward, he listened. He may not know it, but I go on walks with him sometimes. I walk alone so that I can have a moment to collect my thoughts, or be alone in them for a little while. During those times, I may not want to talk to anyone but Colin, and I have walked some extraordinary distances while talking with him. When I told him about boot camp, he was already talking about coming to my graduation. Man, I'm so lucky to have a friend like that!
You don't always get to have people like that in your life. Sometimes, it may take awhile to realize how much a person truly loves you, and know that that person will always be there. That person for me is Colin. I would openly go to bat for him for just about anything (as long as it's legal), because he truly deserves my loyalty in return. I am grateful for the wisdom to know that I should provide that.
I do genuinely love all of my friends. Some of them, I care about in different capacities, because, well, you have to know what you're working with. And they have to know what they're working with, when they are dealing with you. Neither one is a bad thing. All of the people who are in my life, both those that I will leave behind, and those that I will ask to hop in and ride with me, are my teachers and have provided me with a valuable lesson in my life. Sometimes those lessons reveal something about them, people, me, or simply, life. Sometimes the lessons aren't so great, and some exceed our expectations. Regardless, the lessons and each teacher are important.
Love the people in your life. Especially the special ones. You know, the kind that love you so much that it takes nothing to say 'I love you, man' or 'I appreciate you' or even 'I'm sorry'. And remember to do the same in return. The reward is a lifetime of friendship.
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